Pawns (or a Simulation?)

I've been reading "Farewell Summer," by Ray Bradbury. The main character, Douglas, a teenager fighting growing up and old, decides the old men playing chess outdoors in the town square are his problem. He believes he's being moved around a chessboard by these old men and it has taken his freewill. He steals the pieces, but finally has to give them back, and succumbs to growing up in the end. 

Some say we are in a simulation and have no freewill, but I see us as pawns. Not of old men, but basically the machine of political and media power. I believe we have a choice whether we play the game or not. We are not black or while pawns, but creations of God made for freedom. We are told as Christians to love our neighbors as ourselves. We have lost our way when we start to identify each other as a category instead of our neighbor. We are not a political party, race, gender or religion. We are neighbors and we are to love each other. Christ didn't come to overthrow governments or choose a political party, but to conquer the hearts of men. 

"By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13:35

We don't need to steal the pieces from a chessboard, but we need to use the power of our freewill to choose whether we love or hate one another. When we choose love and really care about our neighbor and community, the rest falls into place. We stop seeing each other as different sides on a board, but fellow humans all trying to live, be happy and free. I choose freewill.

God is good!

I earned my wrinkles and grey

Turning 59 hit hard this year. Age and birthdays have never affected me, but now I wonder, am I too old? Has my opportunities or talent faded with the color of my hair or muscle tone? I look with astonishment and a touch of horror, in the mirror and see an old lady looking back. The lines are deeper, the arms smaller and the shoulders starting to stoop. I like the silver color of my hair, but not my saggy skin. Is my time running out? Do I have time to write the book? Will I be able to physically accomplish travel or personal professional goals? 

But, I am not my age. I am knowledge, experience, wisdom, all embodied in wrinkles and grey. I am a love of life passed down to my children and grandchildren. I am stories of pain and joy, but also failure, courage and resilience. I am blessed to be where I am in life. When my grandchildren run to me with open arms crying, "Nana, Nana," I know I am loved. I look like a grandmother. The wrinkle and grey are earned. That doesn't bother me at all. 

We were made to create

 "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him," Genesis 1:27.

We were made in God's image. God created us, thus we were made like God to create, to build, to grow. I realized I am happiest when creating. Gardening. Cooking. Music. Writing. Sewing. These forms of creating fill my days with joy. 

I compare our recent past when our culture created beautiful things to what is created now and find it wanting. Music is a constant overbearing beat of vulgarity or passionless pop. Art is juvenile or created to offend. Buildings look like colorless squares. Even churches, formerly built in praise to God as towering cathedrals, now look like barns. I see the destruction of beautiful creations and think about a quote attributed to J. R.R. Tolkien, "Evil cannot create anything new, they can only corrupt and ruin what good forces invented or made." It seems evil is lose in the world and bent on destruction. 

The best way to fight this evil is be what God intended us to be, creators. Let's fill the world with beauty so we can look back at what we create, music, art, architecture, literature and say it is good. As it says in Genesis 1:31 "God saw all that he had made and it was very good." Let's fill the world with good and overcome this destruction of  beauty and humanity. 

Un-cancelled

 I recently heard a devotional comparing the betrayal of Peter and Judas. The theme was about how they both reacted after the betrayal. Peter surrendered himself to God and accepted his mercy. Judas fell into despair believing he was beyond grace.  Judas died in sin. Peter repented and went on to build the church. I realized I don't need to wallow in self-hatred to be forgiven. I can move on once I accept my failure and repent. I am forgiven. Immediately. As Jesus said to the adulteress, "Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more." John 8:11. The devil lost hold as soon as I repented and accepted God's mercy. No sitting in sackcloth needed. Go and sin no more. This is freedom. True freedom. I can't be cancelled by anyone but God. I am forgiven. I know I will stumble and sin again, but that ever flowing grace has got me covered. Not that I want to sin. Once you understand grace and the gift of mercy Jesus gave us on the cross, you want to please him and not sin, but being human, you will sin again. Jesus knew this and still suffered and died for us. How can we not accept this gift? God is good!

Hope in Exile

I've been interested in the theme of living in exile. The Israelites lived in exile for most of their history. As children of God, we've always been in exile since being expelled from the garden. In the book "Catholics in Exile," by Scott Hahn and Brandon McGinley, I've found some good insight. One sentence I read really hit hard, "How dare we give in to despair over our own dark cultural decline when our fathers is faith could only greet Jesus Christ from thousands of years away, and yet lived in faith and hope." 

How dare I despair this age we are living in? God is in control, even in the mist of chaos. Where is my faith? As Peter wrote in 1 Peter 2:1, "Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which was against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us."

I've become soft growing up in a county that was mainly Christian and founded on Christian values. All I had to do was go to church, and even that is too much at times. I worry we're losing our Christian majority nations and culture, but this is when God does his best work. His Light shines brightest in the darkness. Faith and hope is what is needed, not fear and worry. I'm not getting out my "The End is Near" clapboard, but I think it's time to gird your loins, like it says in Ephesians 6:14 "Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth." It's time to armor up with the righteousness of God.

God give me strength and hope in my exile from my true home. God is, and has always been, good.

To serve or save

There is an ad on TV that has generated lots of talk lately. It's one I noticed previously, but since "the big game" it's message has gone viral. I must admit, it made me cringe when it first came on. It seemed to make Jesus into a savior I'm unfamiliar with. I wondered why it made me cringe, but having Jesus's name on TV during big events is good, right? I will not complain about more Jesus. The world could use more Jesus. But is this Jesus? I agree that Jesus washed his disciples feet, but he also drove out money changers for the temple and had harsh words for the Pharisees. Jesus as I know him came to save, not to conquer governments or be political at all. It was like an advertisement was trying to tell me who Jesus is, but they really didn't know themselves. Yes, he healed, he loved, he gave himself for all of us. But you can't get to Jesus without accepting his grace and turning from sin. He didn't preach tolerance. Not at all. He met and ate with lost sheep for those were the ones he came to save. Wash feet, yes. Serve those in need, yes. Tolerate sin, no. When Jesus healed or forgave, his message was, go and sin no more. When I first understood grace, like really understood the gift I was given, all I wanted to do was serve Jesus and save the lost. I wanted everyone to go to heaven and experience the beautiful gift of salvation. But I know that can't be done by tolerating or loving sin. It's impossible. If these ads bring the lost souls to Jesus, I will rejoice. I don't have an answer whether this ad is good or not. All I know is it was hard to watch, like anything I see or hear that goes against the spirit.  In comparison, when Mark Wahlberg's "Hallow" ad came on and he was praying, I rejoiced. I literally yelled "Amen" at the screen. That is telling in itself.  

"God made him who hd no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God," 2 Corinthians 5:21

New Year, New Hope

I have hope for this new year, 2024. I feel it welling up inside. It's not a hope anyone has given me. It's not for the upcoming election, or wars that come and go. It feels distant, but real. I pray each day with gratitude for the new day, because this is His. All of it. There's nothing I can do to fix anything, even myself. God can. He can fix it all. My goal is to be part of the that, His work. An imperfect instrument made whole in His hands. 

What can I do? Little things are left to me. The smiles and hellos to neighbors and strangers. The encouragement I can bring when all is dark and hopeless. 

"The light shines in the dark, and the darkness cannot overcome it," John 1, Vs 5.  

I think back to the days of Jesus, when there was so much darkness, even the Jewish leaders had fallen into selfishness and greed. Jesus came not to conquer the government, or the world, but to conquer the heart of man. This love and sacrifice worked for centuries, spreading and growing, creating a better life for all with orphanages for abandoned children, hospitals for the sick, schools to share knowledge and the command to love your neighbor as yourself and spread civilization worldwide. Here we are with this knowledge and hope, but the world is once again growing darker. The churches themselves are more focused on pleasing man than God. But the light, the light never goes out. It can only grown stronger as the world grows darker. That is my hope.