HOHOHO

Our office Christmas party was this afternoon. I must admit I was dreading it. It's a new team. It's full of unknowns and more exposure. What if is an issue with me. What if I fail. I have found that my fear our overboard sometimes. And then at other times, I should be more worried.

It was a nice party. The food was great. I sat with people I know and like. I had fun at the white elephant gift exchange. I really worry too much. Then we left and I went shopping. While I was getting too excited about the merchandise at Target, I saw an email pop up announcing one of my poem's was published to an online site again. It's nice. Both poems I sent were published. Nice. I need a bit of confidence.

I have been wondering how to feel Christmas again. Like when I was a kid. The joy, suspense, excitement. It felt good to have kids to share that with. Now that they are grown, not so much. Today was nice though. The day is grey and foggy. Kinda' like a winter day. Snow would be even better. Having the poem published was a nice present. I think that is what I need to do. Music, writing- it makes me feel alive. Sharing this with others keeps me going.  Ignoring those needs and trying to be something I am not is painful. So, here I sit and I write.