TGIF

I love Fridays. Even though I went to the office today instead of working from home and even though the weather was freezing outside, it is Friday! I forgot my phone, but I am wearing jeans and boots! I went in, but I got to leave early and I am just hanging out in my home with my dog and chickens typing on my laptop. I like it!

I spoke with my mom yesterday as I was driving home. She mentioned some comments she made months ago that were negative about the new dude in my life. I couldn't understand her opinion, it is not my opinion and it doesn't matter anyway...she has her own life to live and as for my life, her wise motherly advice has amounted to negative comments and complaints, plus making me feel not worthy of love...yeah...not listening, but it still hurts.

I have made bad choices in my life. I had my first child out of wedlock, now I am divorced. I chose poorly, but we all make mistakes. Some of us just make bigger ones. I had a jazz instructor that was angry I didn't play loud enough. I was afraid of making a mistake and everyone could here me. He yelled at me, "If you are going to make a mistake, make a loud one!" I have followed his advice since.

Now I am so afraid of making mistakes that I just don't make them, which is worse. I need to play louder, live bolder and let me mistakes fly like prayer flags in the wind. I just want to live my life again and stop being afraid. That is my intention for this year. Live boldly! Faith not fear!